


I'm Scared

by ratonnhhaketon



Series: Don't Go Where I Can't Follow [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, Comforting, Crying, F/M, Kaidan being a sweet boyfriend, Swearing, overall lots of emotion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-20 01:02:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7384780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ratonnhhaketon/pseuds/ratonnhhaketon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adrian Shepard can't sleep and thinks too much about the events at Thessia. She's sick of having everyone die on her account with nothing she can do to stop it. She is sick of this war.</p><p>It all finally catches up to her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Scared

Adrian stared up at the roof of her cabin, deep in thought. She had been awake for hours now just thinking. Thinking about how much was riding on her to defeat the reapers and win the war. There was so much on her shoulders. So many lives, so many planets, so many races.

She carefully got out of bed and grabbed the hoodie that was tossed on the couch. The sleeves went a good 5 inches past her hands and the bottom hem stopped right under her butt. It smelled of cologne and aftershave.

It was Kaidan’s.

She shuffled to the tank and stared into the blue water for a moment before deciding to feed the fish inside. She tapped on the keypad three times and watched the food flakes float downward.

Adrian didn’t even know she was crying until there was a salty taste in her mouth. Once the tears started falling she didn’t bother trying to stop them. She did, however, try to be quiet as to not disturb the sleeping body in her bed.

“Hey,” Kaidan’s soft voice broke into the silence. “You okay?”  
Adrian’s head whipped around to look at the source of the noise. “I woke you up.” Her voice cracked. She sniffed and wiped her cheeks on the jacket sleeves, desperate to stop crying.

“Don’t worry about that. You’re upset, what’s wrong?”

Adrian sighed and ran her hands over her face. “I don’t know, Kaidan. I don’t feel okay or like myself. I’ve never felt this much pressure in my life. Everyone in this galaxy is counting on me. I’m so stressed to win this war and I don’t think I can handle it. There are more lives in my hands than I can comprehend and I’m scared. Hell, I’m terrified. So many people have died already because of me. Some of my friends, all the people on Thessia, my comrades on Akuze… No one else should have to die because of me.”

Tears were pouring down her cheeks. Her hands intertwined with her hair and she yanked at her scalp, desperate to release the pain and emotions she felt. “I can’t do this! I can’t win this war, Kaidan!” She didn't mean to be yelling, but the words escaped that way before she could stop them. 

She didn’t even notice him get out of bed until his arms snaked around her torso. He pressed a soft kiss to her temple. “Listen to me. It’s okay. You are only one person, and you can only take so much before breaking.” He slowly turned her body around to face him. “You can’t keep beating yourself up over your past. All it’s doing is making you feel worse. You need to focus on right now. You aren't going into this war alone. Every single person on this ship knows the risks of what they signed up for, and aren’t afraid to meet those ends.”

“But they shouldn't have to.” Her voice was broken and barely above a whisper. “I’m just tired of all the death that comes with being associated with me. I miss all the people I had to lose. I miss Ash, Thane, Mordin, even Legion. Why are all the good people gone…”

“We have to keep living for them. They would want you to win this war. They need you to keep going. I need you to keep going. We need you to be strong.”

Adrian looked up at him with glassy grey eyes and stained cheeks. “I love you, Kaidan.”

“I love you too, Adrian.”


End file.
